Extract from Privateaye, The Sunday Herald, 23 July 2000

....Our Cuban raconteur’s powers of improvisation are nothing compared to the sheer gall of Henry McLeish, Scotland’s Minister for Lifelong Learning.

Henry is also Minister for Tourism, or leisure, or playing nicely or something like that. To judge from his recent remarks on Scotland’s alleged obsession with golf, Henry is also the Lifelong Minister for talking rubbish.

He claimed that our reputation for destroying large stretches of beautiful countryside by turning them into haughty play pens for the woolly jumper brigade would rescue the nation’s ailing tourist industry.

McLeish represents an Executive that is fond of things called “mantras”. One of their mantras is “social inclusion’.

It can’t have escaped Harry’s notice that most of Scotland’s most famous golf clubs are temples to social exclusion and stentorian elitism. Women are made to feel about as comfortable at these clubs as a gigolo in winter. Worst of all, is that it is de rigeur for everyone at these jumped up rotary clubs to wear baseball caps and shiny trousers.

Harry has kindly donated £500,000 of public money to promote these golf clubs. He thinks they will attract stacks of overseas visitors because they are a great advert for modern Scotland. Doesn’t he know that £500,000 can barely buy you a place on the waiting list at some of them ... especially if your name is Singh, Akram, Roth or Mbele?